谁有英语的搞笑小品剧本
三打白骨精的英文剧本，我演过，相当成功，（人物可删减的）
人物：T唐僧 S：孙悟空 E：猪八戒 J：沙僧
B：白骨精 B1：B变成的村姑 B2：B变成的太婆
B3：B变化成的老头 N：哪吒
T: Emitofo,do you know where we are now?
S: Bajie,map!
E: (摸出，递给S)
S: Look,master (凑近T)………(T、S一齐转向E)
T: Bajie!How Many times I have told you, nof to bring these pictures of beautiful girls with you!
E: Oh,master!Forgive me(伸手拿回)
T: (缩手)I’ll keep it for you until we reach the west
E: But……
T: Emitofo,nothing is lust,lust is nothing! Map?
E: (递)Here.Em…… we have arrived in White Tiger Mountain!Ah I can’t walk on any more!(坐)My stomach doesn’t allow So.
S: Fat Pig!
E: Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again,I will ,I will……….
S: You will what(凶相)?
E: (软禁)I will help you catch fleas(跳蚤).
S: Hm!
T:(轻咳)Wukong,factually,I am a bit hungry Could you go to get me some food?
E: You see ,master is hungry,too!
T: Baijie!Don’t forget who ate my last meal!
J: But master,if a monster comes while brother monkeg is away…..
T: Em…….It is a problem.Wukong,do you have any idea?
S: No problem!(安装)(B已躲在一旁偷看)
E: This is…..?
S: Electric net!I have learnt the energy of electricity from master’s books. So I made this. No monster can approach you if you stay in it!
T: Em……Wukong, you are becoming more and more scientific! Emitofo, knowledge is power!
S: Bye!(走)
T: Let’s play cards!(三人开始打牌)音乐《斗地主》
B: Hm!Hm!Electric net?You are too childish.(变成B1)
B1: (接近三人，望着)Can I join you?
T: I’m sorry,lady. We are playing Fighting Against Landlord and three people are enough.
B1: (在一旁观看)Oh,Chance! Bomb!
T: Bomb?(打出)
B1: Double King!
T: Oh….I win! Em……,Lady,you are a master-hand. Come in and teach me!(准备开电网门)
S: (回来，看见B1)Oh,monster!(上前就打)
B1: (倒)Ah……
T: (气愤)Wukong! Look what have done! She is my teacher!
S: She is a monster!
T: Nonsense!(深呼吸)
S: Oh,please don’t……
T:It’s too late!(唱)Once more……you open the door…(泰坦尼克主题曲，走音离谱)
S: Please,Please,oh,no……(痛苦抱头)
T: (呛住，咳)Wukong,I’m disappointed with you!
B: (真身出现)Hm!Sun Wukong, I’ll teach you a lesson!(变成太婆)
B2:Hello,have you seen my daughter?
T: Daughter?...(连忙挡住地尸体)No,sorry!(陪笑，B2想看后面是什么，T挡)
S: (咬牙切齿)You monster, I’ll beat you into hell!(S追打B2,B2躲至T身后，S打，不想打到T头，T晕，S再打死B2)
E&J: Are you Ok, master?(扶T)
J: Look,(伸食指)how many?
T:Two…..(晕乎乎地)Sun Wukong, game over!(变成B3)
B3: (看到B1,B2尸体)Oh….,my daughter, my wife! Who did it?!!(哭喊)
S: I’ll kill you, monster!(打)
T: (想阻止，未及)You,you.....(险些晕，E,J扶住 )You have killed three lives!
S: No,they are not human beings!They are created by monster!
T: Monster?You are a real monster!Never let me see you,go!!
S: (悲，离去)(音乐，营造 “假”悲伤气氛)《人鬼情未了》
E: Master, brother Monkey is.......
T: Scratch! Don't mention that guy any more!
B: (出现) Ha,ha,ha!(三尸体B1,B2,B3在B招手后“飘”走)
T: (惊)You are......
B: How foolish you are ,Mr Tang!(E,J去阻斗，被击退)
B: (抓住T)I'll enjoy your meat and blood,ha,ha......
S: (悄悄走到B后，打B,B晕)A thousand years later.
T: Wukong?
E: Oh,Brother Monkey!
J: Our hero is back!
T: I,I can't understand......What happened?
S: Master,your IQ needs increasing! This monster changed its appearance into three shapes in order to cheat you!
T: How,how did you find out?
S: (沉默).......Monkey's intuition(直觉)
N: Excuse me, where is the cniminal?
S; Ah......you are too late ,Nezha!(对T)I've called the police.
N: (摇醒B)You are under arrest .(出示证件)You have the right to remain silent If you give up the right, anything you will say can and will be against you in a court of law!(带走B)
T: Wukong(S不理T)I admit my mistake this time(S仍不理)I'm sorry(小声)
S: What?
T: I'm sorry.
S: Em? Louder,please?
T: I......am......sorry.....(S 捂耳)(音乐响)《敢问路在何方》(这个放伴奏)
T: Let's go guys!( 歌)
S: You are carrying the luggage, I am leading the horse.
E: Say goodbye to the sun, Welcome evening glow.
J: Sleeping on the ground, again we set out set out, again we set out.
T.S.E.J: Ah......Ah...... Sleeping on the ground again we set out.
T: One after the other the seasons go by,and ohe after the other, the year go on. You wonder where the road is. The road is under your feet.
T.S.E.J: You uonder where the road is, the road is under your feet......
PS.提供我们演的视频http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XNjQ0NDA4NDg=.html
Characters: Narrator(N), Salesman(S), Dad(D), Maggie(M), Alice(A), Candy(C), Policeman(P)
Preparation: 学校布景，做糖果用桌及相关材料，小贩家布景
Scene1（At Salesman’s home）
N: In a dark dirty house, there lived a small, dirty salesman. He always makes unhealthy candies and sells them to the students. He has a lot of money now. But how does he make the candies? Oh, xu …… He is coming!
S: Hello, do you know me? No? Oh, let me tell you .I’m the famous candy salesman at the school gate. My candies are very popular,(展示)，I don’t know why. The foolish students always come here. I’ll be a boss soon! Candy, money, candy, money……
Oops! It’s time to make candies now.(看表)
First, put the flour on the table.
Then, water, sugar, flour.(边说边做)
Now press, press……
Oh, my dirty hands! Never mind! Just do it!(满不在意的神情)
Press, press……
Oh, my god!(鼻涕)Never mind! Just do it!
Press, press, the children will not know it , it’s OK,hehehe……
Now let me cut it into pieces!
One, two, three, four, five……（用脏菜刀）
Wow, everything is ready!
糖果钻出来（跳舞），跳完后，非常难过地说：Oh, I’m so dirty and ugly! What can I do? The students will eat me! And they will be ill! Wuwuwu…
S: Mmmm…It looks dirty, let me give you a nice coat! (给它穿上) Wow! Now it’s so beautiful! Haha……
C: Oh, no! Don’t sell me! I’m dirty!(拖糖果下场)
Scene2（At the school gate）
N: The next day, when the class is over, all the students come out happily and the salesman goes to the school gate as usual. （Maggie和Alice 欢快地跑出校门，看到小贩）
(小贩拉着糖上场，吆喝)：Candies! Candies! Sweet candies! ……
M: Oh, Alice! Look! Candies!
A: Yeah! I think they are yummy!
M: Let’s ask him.
A: OK!
C: Don’t buy me！（非常焦急）
M&A: Why?
C: I’m dirty！
M: No, you look nice!
C: What can I do? (面向观众) Wuwuwu…(小贩将她拉在后面)
S: Candies! Candies!（引诱两个女孩）
M&A: How much are they?
S: Do you have money?（轻蔑）
M&A: Money?(对视)
M:Oh, I’ve no money!（失落之极）
A: Me too.
S: No money? So sorry!(吆喝着走开，下场)
M: What can we do now?
A: Let’s ask dad for money.
M: But how to ask?
A: How?…Oh,I know ,let’s make him happy ,and he will give us money.（自信）
M: Good idea!(全部下场)
Scene 3:（At Maggie’s home）
N: The children have to go home and ask dad for some money, and they know their father is good at playing guitar, so they will do something clever. (爸爸看报)
M: Dad,dad,let’s sing a song ,OK? (同时Alice去取吉他准备拿给爸爸)
A: And play the guitar for us!
M: We know you play so well!
(爸爸诧异地看着孩子)
D: Oh? What a bright day today!
M&A: Please, dad!(哀求)
D:OKOK! Let’s.
(取吉他，开始准备)D: Which song do you like? How about Edelweiss?
M&A: Of course!
(开始弹，第一段孩子随节奏起舞，第二段孩子开始轻声讨论起来“you first”之类的话，爸爸停止弹琴。)
D: What’s the matter?
M: Dad, we have no money!
A: Can we have some please?
D: I think you have lots of pocket money ,and you don’t need any more.
M:I want to buy some candies at the school gate.
A: They look so sweet and nice!
M: Other students always buy them!
D: But……You can’t ! They are quite unhealthy. Please go and do your homework..(置之不理，转头看报，孩子回到房间)
M: What shall we do now?
A: Let me think …well, I know!(轻声在Maggie耳边说)
M: Oh, you are so clever! Let’s go.(回到爸爸身边)
M: Dad, I want a new eraser!
A: I want a longer ruler!
M&A: Dad, please！
D: Things are expensive these days. We have to save money!
M: But dad, my eraser is too small now!(拿出破橡皮来给爸爸看)
A: And my ruler is broken.（拿出断尺）
D: OK, children. I believe you this time, make sure, don’t buy the food at the school gate. It’s unhealthy! Do you know?
M&A: Yes, sir!
D: Here you are !( 给钱)
M&A: Thanks very much, dad! Bye!(非常高兴，下场)
N: The next day, when the class is over ,Maggie and Alice come to the salesman again. They are happy to buy the candies and then have them, but soon they feel a stomachache.
(孩子高兴地买了糖，边吃边回家，小贩下场，孩子到家后肚子痛)
M: Aiyo!……（两人躬着背进场）
A: …….
D: What’s wrong?
M: I’ve a stomachache!
A: Me too!
D: What did you eat? The food at the school gate?
M: Yes. We had some candies just now.
A: I had some too!
D: Oh! You’ve cheated me! You bought the candies instead of the eraser and ruler. I always tell you that don’t buy the food at the school gate, they are unhealthy!（生气）
M: But they look nice!
A: And tastes good!
M&A: Aiyo……
D:Well, Let’s go to the salesman together and have a look!
M&A: OK.
Scene 4: (At the school gate)
N: When they get to the school gate, a policeman is asking the salesman to go away.
(正走到校门口，发现警察驱赶校门口的小贩)
P: Hey! You shouldn’t stay here, leave now!
C: Let’s go home, let’s go home! (轻声并拉小贩)
S: No! My candies are nice and popular here! And…
C: You are telling a lie! I’m very dirty and unhealthy!
M&A: Dad, it’s him! Aiyo…（指着小贩）
D: He?
(警察走过来问爸爸，朝小孩)
P: What’s the matter with them?
D: They got a stomachache after having his candies.
S: Really? But I’ve never heard of it. And……
P: Stop, stop!(打断小贩) Look at the two girls! Are you guilty? You must be honest with the students, and don’t sell candies any more.（非常严厉）
S: OK. I know. (羞愧)
C: Let’s go home. Let’s go home.
Policeman(对小孩): Girls, please listen! Don’t buy the candies next time. They are bad for your health.
D: Yes, he is right. And you shouldn’t tell a lie to me. Try to be an honest person! Will you?
M&A: OK, dad!
P: Let’s take them to the hospital now.
D: OK, Let’s go.
N（出场）: A few days later, the girls recovered. And this story is trying to tell you that some of the phenomenon must be kept down, we hope it could be improved soon. What’s more, we also hope students themselves can be honest and all the salesmen can be honest as well
Bassanio and Shylock come
Bassanio:Hello,Mr. Shylock. Long time no see. How about you business these days, I mean lending money with interests.But now I want to tell you something. Would you like to give me a hand? Can you lend me three thousand dollars?
Shylock: Three thousand dollars; well
Bassanio: Ay, Sir, for three months.
Shylock: For three months; well.
Bassanio: For the which, as I told you, Antonio shall be bound.
Sholock: Antonio shall be bound; well.
Bassanio: Shall I know your answer?
Shylock: Three thousand dollars for three months and Antonio bound.
Antonio enters
Bassanio: This is Antonio.
Shylock: Antonio, many a time and often in the rialto(交易所)，you have rated(估价) me about my money, and I have born it with a patient shrug(我总是忍气吞声，耸耸肩膀，没有跟您争辩)，for sufferance(忍耐) is the badge(特色) of all our tribe. You call me misbeliever(异教徒), cut-throat dog(杀人的狗)，and spit up(吐痰) on my Jewish garments. Well then it appears you need my help: you come to me, and you say ‘Shylock, we would have money’, you say so, you did void your rheum(吐唾沫) upon my beard, and foot me as you spurn(弃绝) a strange cur(杂种狗).What should I say to you? Should I say dog has money? Is it possible a cur can lend three thousand dollars? Or shall I bend low and in a bondman’s key(像一个奴隶一样)，with a bated breath(低声下气) and whispering humblenee(恭恭敬敬的), say this: Fair Sir, you spit on me on Wednesday last, you spurned such a day, another time, you call me a dog, and for these courtesies(礼貌), I lend you thus much money.
Antonio: I am as like to call you so again. To spit on you again, to spurn you too.
Shylock: Why, look you, how you angry. I would be friends with you and have you love.
Bassanio: This were kindness.
Shylock: This kindness will I show. Go with me to a notary(公证人)，seal me there(在哪儿签约)，your single bound; and in a merry sport(不妨开个玩笑). If you repay me not on such a day, in such a place, such sum or sums as are expressed in the condition. Let forfeit(罚款，没收物) be nominated for an equal pound of your fair flesh, to cut off and taken in what part of your body please me.
(Three months later. The day of payment being past, the cruel Jew would not accept of the money which Bassanio offered him, but insisted upon having a pound of Antonio’s flesh. A day was appointed to try this shocking case before the Duke of Venice, and Bassanio in dreadful suspense(焦虑) the event of the trial(审判)。
people: Including Duke,Bassanio,Shylock,Antonio,Portia
Duke: What, is Antonio here?
Antonio: Ready, so please your grace(有，殿下)
Duke: I am sorry for you: you have to answer a stony adversary(对手)，an inhuman wretch, uncapable of pity, void, empity from any dram of mercy.(我很为你不快，你是跟一个心如铁石的对手但当庭对质，一个不懂怜悯, 没有一丝慈悲心的不近人情的恶汉。)
Antonio: I do oppose my patience to his fury, to suffer.
Duke: Go one, and call the Jew into the court.
Bassanio: He is ready at the door, he comes, my Lord.
Duke: Make room, and let him stand before our face. Shylock, the world think, and I think so too, you leads this fashion of the malice(恶意)，to the last hour of act,you would show your mercy.And now execuate the penalty, which is a pound of this poor merchant’s flesh. But, touched with human gentlenee and love, forgive it, glancing an eye of pity on his losses,we all expect a gentle answer, Jew.
Shylock: And by our holy Sabbath have I sworn, to have the due(应得物),and forfeit of my bond. You ask me, why I rather choose to have a weight of carrion flesh (腐肉) than to receive three thousand dollars, I’ll not answer that. But, say, it is my humour, is it the answer? What if my house be troubled with rat(老鼠)，and I be pleased to give ten thousand dollars to have it baned? What, is it a answer? Some men they are love not a gaping pig(张开嘴的猪)，some are mad if they behold a cat,as there is no firm reason to be render(回答). So can I give no reason.
Bassanio: This is no answer, you unfeeling man, to excuse the current of the cruelty.(你这冷酷无情的家伙，这样的回答可不能作为你的残忍的辩解。)
Shylock: I want to please you with my answer.
Bassanio: Do all men kill the things they do not love?
Shylock: Who will hate anything he would not kill?
Bassanio: Every offence is not a hate at first.
Shylock: What, would you have a serpant(大毒蛇) sting you twice?
Bassanio: For the three thousand dollars, here is six.
Shylock: What judgement shall I dread(担心), I would not want six thousand, I would have my bond.
Duke: How shall you hope for mercy?
Shylock: what judgement shall I dread, doing no wrong? I answer you: the pound of flesh, which I demand of him, is already bought, this is mine. And I will have it. If you deny me, fie(呸) upon your law!(你们的法律见鬼去吧！) I stand for judgement: answer, shall I have it?
Duke: I just received a letter from Bellario, a learned doctor.
Bassanio: ( to Shylock)Why does you whet(磨快) the knief so earnestly?
Shylock: To cut the flesh from that bankrupt there.
Duke: This letter from Bellario does command a young and learned doctor to our court. Where is he.
Portia: Just stands near here.
Duke: With all my heart, welcome. Do you understand the two viewpoint in the court?
Portia: Of course I know. Which is the merchant here, and which the Jew?
Duke: Antonio and old shylock, both stand forth.
Portia: Is your name Shylock?
Shylock: Shylock is my name.
Portia: The case is strange, but according to the Venetian law, cannot limit you as you do proceed. (point to Antonio) You stand within his danger, do you not? (你的生死掌握在他的手里，是不是？)
Antonio: Ay, so he says.
Portia: Do you confess the bond?
Antonio: I do.
Portia: Then must the Jew be merciful(仁慈)
Shylock: Why must I be merciful? Tell me the reason.
Portia: The quality of mercy likes gentle rain from heaven, and mercy was double blessing, we all prey for mercy.
Shylock: My deeds are desided by my head! I ask the law, the penalty and forfeit of my contract.
Portia: Is he not able to pay the money.
Bassanio: Yes, here I want to pay it for him in the court, twice the sum, if that not enough, I want to pay it ten times. The things I pay can be my hands, my head, my heart. If this will not enough,I would thought you were bad enough. And I ask you correct once the law, to do a great right, do a little wrong, and control this cruel devil of his will.
Portia: It must not be; ther is no power in Venice can alter a law established.
Shylock: A wise young judge, how I do honour you.
Portia: I pray you, let me kook upon the bond.
Shylock: Here this, most reverend(尊敬的) doctor, here it is.
Portia: Shylock,there’s thrice(三倍的) the money offered you.
Shylock: An oath(誓言)，an oath, I have an oath in heaven. Shall I lay perjury(伪证) up on my soul, No, not for Venice(整个威尼斯给我都不行).
Portia: Why, this bond is forfeit(照约处罚)，Jew may cut off a pound of flesh nearest the merchant’s heart. Be merciful, take thrice the money, bid(吩咐) me tear bond.
Shylock: When it is paid according to the bond. It does appear you are a worthly judge. You know the law, your exposition(说明) has been most sound, I charge you by the law, you are a well-deserving pillar. There is no power in the tongue of man I stay here om my bond.(谁也不能用他的口舌改变我的决心，我现在等着执行).
Antonio: Most heartly I do beseech(恳求) the court to give the judgement.
Portia: You must prepare your bosom for the knife.
Shylock: Oh, noble judge! Oh, excellent young man!
Portia: therefore lay bare your bosom. Are ther balance here to weigh the flesh.
Shylock: I have them ready.(take out a knife)
Portia: Ask a surgeon to come, Shylock, on your charge(费用归你), to stop his wounds, otherwise he will bleed to death.
Shylock: Is it so nominated in the bond? I cann’t find it ,it isn’t in the bond.
Portia: You, merchant, have you anything to say?
Antonio: But little , I am well perpared , give me your hand, Bassanio, Goodbye forever. Commend me to your honourable wife, tell her the process of Antonio’s end; say how I loved you, speak me fair in death(从容就义); he won’t regret it he pays you debt. For the Jew do cut but deep enough, I’ll pay it presently with all my heart.
Bassanio: Antonio, I am married to a life which is as dear to me as life itself; but your life is the most important than all of this. I would lose all, sacrifice them all. Here to this devil, to delieve you.(我愿意丧失一切，把它们献给这恶魔做牺牲，来救出你的生命).
Portia: You wife would give you little thanks for that. If she were here.
Shylock: these be the christian husbands. I have a daughter, would any son of burgler had been her husband rather than a christian!
Portia; A pound of that same merchant’s flesh is yours: the court awards it, and law does give it.
Shylock: most rightful judge!
Portia: you must cut this flesh from his breast. The law allows it, and the awards it.
Shylock: most learned judge! A sentence! Come, prepare!
Portia: Wait a moment, there;s something else. This bond include no jot(少量) of blood; the words expressly are a pound of flesh. But, in the cutting, if you does shed one drop of christian’s blood, your lands and goods confiscate(充公) by the Venice law.
Bassanio: Oh, learned judge! Listen, Jew, a learned judge.
Shylock: Is that the law?
Portia: You will see the act(你自己可以去看看明白). For as you urgest justice, be assured you shall have justice(既然你要求公道，我就给你公道)，more than you desired.
Shylock: I take this offer, then pay the bond thrice. And let the christian go.
Bassanio: Here is the money.
Portia: Soft(别忙), The Jew shall have all justice; soft! No haste. He shall have nothing but the penalty.
Bassanio: Oh, Jew! An upright judge, a learned judge!
Portia: Therefore prepare you to cut off the flesh, neither blood, nor cut less nor more, but just a pound of flesh; if you cut more or less than a just pound, if the scale do turn, you die and all the goods are confiscate.
Bassanio: Now, I have you on the hip(你可掉我手里)，
Partia: why does the Jew pause? Take the forfeiture.
Shylock: Give me my principal(本金)，and let me go.
Bassanio: I have it ready for you; here it is.
Portia: He has refused it in the open court. He shall have merely justice and his bond.
Shylock: Shall I not have barely my principal?
Portia: You would have nothing but the forfeiture, except cutting a pound of flesh at the danger. Jew.
Shylock: Then the devil give him good of it! I’ll stay no longer question(让魔鬼保佑他去享用吧！我不打这场官司了).
Portia: Jew, the law have another relation to you. To seek the life of any citizen by direct or indirect attempts,half of his property belongs to the citizen, the other half to the state. The danger formely by me rehearsed(你已经遭逢我刚才所说起的危险了). Down therefore and beg merce of the duke.
Duke: You will see the difference of our spirts, I pardon you the life before you ask it. For half the wealth, it is Antonio; the other half to the state.
Portia:Ay, for the state, not for the Antonio.
Shylock: No, take my life and all; pardon not that. You take my house when you do take the prop(支柱) that does sustain my house; you take my life when you do take the means(养家活命的根本) whereby I live.
Portia: What mercy can you give him, Antonio? A rope for kill or else?
Antonio: I will happy if Lord quit this fine for one half. The other half I will give the lover of his daughter.
Portia: Are you contended, Jew? What do you say.
Shylock: I am content, thank you very much.
A pound of flesh
Bassanio and Shylock come
Bassanio:Hello,Mr. Shylock. Long time no see. How about you business these days, I mean lending money with interests.But now I want to tell you something. Would you like to give me a hand? Can you lend me three thousand dollars?
Shylock: Three thousand dollars; well
Bassanio: Ay, Sir, for three months.
Shylock: For three months; well.
Bassanio: For the which, as I told you, Antonio shall be bound.
Sholock: Antonio shall be bound; well.
Bassanio: Shall I know your answer?
Shylock: Three thousand dollars for three months and Antonio bound.
Antonio enters
Bassanio: This is Antonio.
Shylock: Antonio, many a time and often in the rialto(交易所)，you have rated(估价) me about my money, and I have born it with a patient shrug(我总是忍气吞声，耸耸肩膀，没有跟您争辩)，for sufferance(忍耐) is the badge(特色) of all our tribe. You call me misbeliever(异教徒), cut-throat dog(杀人的狗)，and spit up(吐痰) on my Jewish garments. Well then it appears you need my help: you come to me, and you say ‘Shylock, we would have money’, you say so, you did void your rheum(吐唾沫) upon my beard, and foot me as you spurn(弃绝) a strange cur(杂种狗).What should I say to you? Should I say dog has money? Is it possible a cur can lend three thousand dollars? Or shall I bend low and in a bondman’s key(像一个奴隶一样)，with a bated breath(低声下气) and whispering humblenee(恭恭敬敬的), say this: Fair Sir, you spit on me on Wednesday last, you spurned such a day, another time, you call me a dog, and for these courtesies(礼貌), I lend you thus much money.
Antonio: I am as like to call you so again. To spit on you again, to spurn you too.
Shylock: Why, look you, how you angry. I would be friends with you and have you love.
Bassanio: This were kindness.
Shylock: This kindness will I show. Go with me to a notary(公证人)，seal me there(在哪儿签约)，your single bound; and in a merry sport(不妨开个玩笑). If you repay me not on such a day, in such a place, such sum or sums as are expressed in the condition. Let forfeit(罚款，没收物) be nominated for an equal pound of your fair flesh, to cut off and taken in what part of your body please me.
(Three months later. The day of payment being past, the cruel Jew would not accept of the money which Bassanio offered him, but insisted upon having a pound of Antonio’s flesh. A day was appointed to try this shocking case before the Duke of Venice, and Bassanio in dreadful suspense(焦虑) the event of the trial(审判)。
people: Including Duke,Bassanio,Shylock,Antonio,Portia
Duke: What, is Antonio here?
Antonio: Ready, so please your grace(有，殿下)
Duke: I am sorry for you: you have to answer a stony adversary(对手)，an inhuman wretch, uncapable of pity, void, empity from any dram of mercy.(我很为你不快，你是跟一个心如铁石的对手但当庭对质，一个不懂怜悯, 没有一丝慈悲心的不近人情的恶汉。)
Antonio: I do oppose my patience to his fury, to suffer.
Duke: Go one, and call the Jew into the court.
Bassanio: He is ready at the door, he comes, my Lord.
Duke: Make room, and let him stand before our face. Shylock, the world think, and I think so too, you leads this fashion of the malice(恶意)，to the last hour of act,you would show your mercy.And now execuate the penalty, which is a pound of this poor merchant’s flesh. But, touched with human gentlenee and love, forgive it, glancing an eye of pity on his losses,we all expect a gentle answer, Jew.
Shylock: And by our holy Sabbath have I sworn, to have the due(应得物),and forfeit of my bond. You ask me, why I rather choose to have a weight of carrion flesh (腐肉) than to receive three thousand dollars, I’ll not answer that. But, say, it is my humour, is it the answer? What if my house be troubled with rat(老鼠)，and I be pleased to give ten thousand dollars to have it baned? What, is it a answer? Some men they are love not a gaping pig(张开嘴的猪)，some are mad if they behold a cat,as there is no firm reason to be render(回答). So can I give no reason.
Bassanio: This is no answer, you unfeeling man, to excuse the current of the cruelty.(你这冷酷无情的家伙，这样的回答可不能作为你的残忍的辩解。)
Shylock: I want to please you with my answer.
Bassanio: Do all men kill the things they do not love?
Shylock: Who will hate anything he would not kill?
Bassanio: Every offence is not a hate at first.
Shylock: What, would you have a serpant(大毒蛇) sting you twice?
Bassanio: For the three thousand dollars, here is six.
Shylock: What judgement shall I dread(担心), I would not want six thousand, I would have my bond.
Duke: How shall you hope for mercy?
Shylock: what judgement shall I dread, doing no wrong? I answer you: the pound of flesh, which I demand of him, is already bought, this is mine. And I will have it. If you deny me, fie(呸) upon your law!(你们的法律见鬼去吧！) I stand for judgement: answer, shall I have it?
Duke: I just received a letter from Bellario, a learned doctor.
Bassanio: ( to Shylock)Why does you whet(磨快) the knief so earnestly?
Shylock: To cut the flesh from that bankrupt there.
Duke: This letter from Bellario does command a young and learned doctor to our court. Where is he.
Portia: Just stands near here.
Duke: With all my heart, welcome. Do you understand the two viewpoint in the court?
Portia: Of course I know. Which is the merchant here, and which the Jew?
Duke: Antonio and old shylock, both stand forth.
Portia: Is your name Shylock?
Shylock: Shylock is my name.
Portia: The case is strange, but according to the Venetian law, cannot limit you as you do proceed. (point to Antonio) You stand within his danger, do you not? (你的生死掌握在他的手里，是不是？)
Antonio: Ay, so he says.
Portia: Do you confess the bond?
Antonio: I do.
Portia: Then must the Jew be merciful(仁慈)
Shylock: Why must I be merciful? Tell me the reason.
Portia: The quality of mercy likes gentle rain from heaven, and mercy was double blessing, we all prey for mercy.
Shylock: My deeds are desided by my head! I ask the law, the penalty and forfeit of my contract.
Portia: Is he not able to pay the money.
Bassanio: Yes, here I want to pay it for him in the court, twice the sum, if that not enough, I want to pay it ten times. The things I pay can be my hands, my head, my heart. If this will not enough,I would thought you were bad enough. And I ask you correct once the law, to do a great right, do a little wrong, and control this cruel devil of his will.
Portia: It must not be; ther is no power in Venice can alter a law established.
Shylock: A wise young judge, how I do honour you.
Portia: I pray you, let me kook upon the bond.
Shylock: Here this, most reverend(尊敬的) doctor, here it is.
Portia: Shylock,there’s thrice(三倍的) the money offered you.
Shylock: An oath(誓言)，an oath, I have an oath in heaven. Shall I lay perjury(伪证) up on my soul, No, not for Venice(整个威尼斯给我都不行).
Portia: Why, this bond is forfeit(照约处罚)，Jew may cut off a pound of flesh nearest the merchant’s heart. Be merciful, take thrice the money, bid(吩咐) me tear bond.
Shylock: When it is paid according to the bond. It does appear you are a worthly judge. You know the law, your exposition(说明) has been most sound, I charge you by the law, you are a well-deserving pillar. There is no power in the tongue of man I stay here om my bond.(谁也不能用他的口舌改变我的决心，我现在等着执行).
Antonio: Most heartly I do beseech(恳求) the court to give the judgement.
Portia: You must prepare your bosom for the knife.
Shylock: Oh, noble judge! Oh, excellent young man!
Portia: therefore lay bare your bosom. Are ther balance here to weigh the flesh.
Shylock: I have them ready.(take out a knife)
Portia: Ask a surgeon to come, Shylock, on your charge(费用归你), to stop his wounds, otherwise he will bleed to death.
Shylock: Is it so nominated in the bond? I cann’t find it ,it isn’t in the bond.
Portia: You, merchant, have you anything to say?
Antonio: But little , I am well perpared , give me your hand, Bassanio, Goodbye forever. Commend me to your honourable wife, tell her the process of Antonio’s end; say how I loved you, speak me fair in death(从容就义); he won’t regret it he pays you debt. For the Jew do cut but deep enough, I’ll pay it presently with all my heart.
Bassanio: Antonio, I am married to a life which is as dear to me as life itself; but your life is the most important than all of this. I would lose all, sacrifice them all. Here to this devil, to delieve you.(我愿意丧失一切，把它们献给这恶魔做牺牲，来救出你的生命).
Portia: You wife would give you little thanks for that. If she were here.
Shylock: these be the christian husbands. I have a daughter, would any son of burgler had been her husband rather than a christian!
Portia; A pound of that same merchant’s flesh is yours: the court awards it, and law does give it.
Shylock: most rightful judge!
Portia: you must cut this flesh from his breast. The law allows it, and the awards it.
Shylock: most learned judge! A sentence! Come, prepare!
Portia: Wait a moment, there;s something else. This bond include no jot(少量) of blood; the words expressly are a pound of flesh. But, in the cutting, if you does shed one drop of christian’s blood, your lands and goods confiscate(充公) by the Venice law.
Bassanio: Oh, learned judge! Listen, Jew, a learned judge.
Shylock: Is that the law?
Portia: You will see the act(你自己可以去看看明白). For as you urgest justice, be assured you shall have justice(既然你要求公道，我就给你公道)，more than you desired.
Shylock: I take this offer, then pay the bond thrice. And let the christian go.
Bassanio: Here is the money.
Portia: Soft(别忙), The Jew shall have all justice; soft! No haste. He shall have nothing but the penalty.
Bassanio: Oh, Jew! An upright judge, a learned judge!
Portia: Therefore prepare you to cut off the flesh, neither blood, nor cut less nor more, but just a pound of flesh; if you cut more or less than a just pound, if the scale do turn, you die and all the goods are confiscate.
Bassanio: Now, I have you on the hip(你可掉我手里)，
Partia: why does the Jew pause? Take the forfeiture.
Shylock: Give me my principal(本金)，and let me go.
Bassanio: I have it ready for you; here it is.
Portia: He has refused it in the open court. He shall have merely justice and his bond.
Shylock: Shall I not have barely my principal?
Portia: You would have nothing but the forfeiture, except cutting a pound of flesh at the danger. Jew.
Shylock: Then the devil give him good of it! I’ll stay no longer question(让魔鬼保佑他去享用吧！我不打这场官司了).
Portia: Jew, the law have another relation to you. To seek the life of any citizen by direct or indirect attempts,half of his property belongs to the citizen, the other half to the state. The danger formely by me rehearsed(你已经遭逢我刚才所说起的危险了). Down therefore and beg merce of the duke.
Duke: You will see the difference of our spirts, I pardon you the life before you ask it. For half the wealth, it is Antonio; the other half to the state.
Portia:Ay, for the state, not for the Antonio.
Shylock: No, take my life and all; pardon not that. You take my house when you do take the prop(支柱) that does sustain my house; you take my life when you do take the means(养家活命的根本) whereby I live.
Portia: What mercy can you give him, Antonio? A rope for kill or else?
Antonio: I will happy if Lord quit this fine for one half. The other half I will give the lover of his daughter.
Portia: Are you contended, Jew? What do you say.
Shylock: I am content, thank you very much.
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